And sometimes on my darkest days,
I get empowered by the light.
All of a sudden I feel my strength,
And realize my might.
I can conquer this day,
Like I am climbing a rock wall.
I can pull myself up past each negative thought,
I will NOT let myself fall.
The energy surges through me,
It settles in my soul.
Today is the kind of day,
When I truly feel whole.
But then I reach the top, and I remember -
I am quite afraid of heights.
I suffer from anxiety and depression, and poetry is a creative outlet I use to process my negative thoughts. Whenever I feel anxious, I reflect back on the photographs I have taken of objects or places. Then I choose one photograph to focus on, and write about the anxiety I am experiencing in that moment.
This piece focuses on a photograph of rock climbers I took while hiking in Eldorado Canyon State Park. I was in awe of how brave, yet steady they must be. You can barely see them in the photograph because they are so high up. The day I wrote this, I pulled myself out of bed and was genuinely productive and inspired by what I had accomplished and started. The positive energy was intoxicating and I felt renewed. But there was an anxious sense of caution in the back of my mind - because I knew this day would end.
Berti May is my pen name - a tribute to my late grandmothers.